Guys are wired physically. We like to use our eyes! A little to much. And the devil uses it against us. When I was in that situation it always seemed to happen cause we would be alone, and if it was dark! And you just get a glimpse of her in the wrong state of mind and it’s over. It’s like poison! 95% you will fall into temptation and yes God forgives us but it’s no excuse to keep doing it! My advice is if you truly like this girl and wanna glorify God! MAKE boundaries AND RULES! It may seem stupid! But I promise it will save your relationship with each other and God! Boundaries like no clothes off, nothing below the belt. And rules like no movies with the lights off, and no laying down on the couch. I know it sounds silly but it’s really the only way! We as dudes aren’t strong enough. So next time you feel like doing something, explain and tell your girl lets to do something instead! Like play cards or a board game! If you play with fire, it’s inevitable you will get burnt, but if you eliminate the fire, then your good! Hope this helps.
First of all I want to tell you that you are forgiven, and God’s love for you is so much greater than what you believe it to be. I understand your struggles completely. I was always the friend who had the advice or tried to set an example among my friends and have it all together. Meanwhile I had an addiction to masturbation. It sounds like we have a similar story. Trying to be a perfectionist and striving for that, rather than Christ will make us fall flat on our faces. The moment we become anxious, that’s when we have underestimated God and his abilities. Masturbation and porn hold you captive, and they are so easy to keep as a secret.
The first step in the right direction is confession. You have made a HUGE step! God’s smiles upon it! I encourage you to find an accountability partner. I know many guys are scared to open up about gay porn to other men, but there is someone trustworthy that will listen and hold you accountable. Pray that God will bring someone into your life, I will be doing the same for you!
Something I made the mistake of doing for so long was fighting my battles and not letting Christ fight them. Sin as you probably well know is something that we cannot fight on our own, that’s why Christ shed his blood for us, he pinned those sins at the cross! He says to come to him and lay your burdens at his feet. He forgives you every time, but he desires to have your full attention. He is SO jealous for you! Don’t try to fight this battle on your own, you need Jesus to come alongside you and give you strength. He is the only person and power that can heal you.
This all is easier said than done, I realize that. But remember that you’ll fall sometimes. I just had a friend who hadn’t fallen into old habits and sin for years, and just the other day she did. It happens, but you do not need to beat yourself up over it. In our times of need and desperation we need to keep clinging to God, he is the only one that will save us. His grace covers our every wrong. I truly believe and pray that you will have complete freedom, I believe God can use your story to change many people’s lives. Through confession comes freedom, don’t be afraid because Jesus is always with you!
The greatest attack the enemy throws at you is deception. He lies to you, he wants you to believe that your sins are too far extreme to be forgiven but you are! Jesus was enough to cleanse all of that. I pray that as you continue to run to God for forgiveness each time you commit this sin, that you will begin to believe that you are have OVERCAME. Victory is yours! Like Sarah said, an accountability partner is a must. You must find someone in the church who is lead by the Word & someone who has overcome in this area. You must also find accountability on your computer, phone, and tablets, such as: x3watch and covenant eyes. Those are the 2 things you MUST do, it will be hard & awkward at first…but you must. You will find strength in God. I pray that you will believe you can overcome so that you will! You have such a bright future ahead friend. There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain.
When you’re feeling down or hopeless or when you’re ready pray this prayer:
Dad, my King. I know I have walked far from you into the darkness. I pray that I will continue to bring this secret to light & you will give me opportunities to confess. Enable me to rid this trash from my heart by letting it spill out of my mouth unto you & to those you bring into my life as accountability. I don’t want to keep these thoughts, lies, & sins inside of me any longer. I don’t want to be destroyed, I don’t want my future to be destroyed. God, my future is in your hands. From this day forward, I surrender all of me to you. Take me and do your cleanse in me so I can become like you. Thank you for loving me and accepting me Lord. I thank you that victory is mine, and that I have overcome. In Jesus’ name! Amen!
I’m sorry for the things that you have experienced in your life. I’m sure that they have made God out to be like a distant maker who cares nothing of you. But I promise you, that He cares more than you & I will ever know. God is all around you, He says that if you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you. He is constantly pursing you & desiring your heart. But God is also respectful & He won’t come breaking down your door. He is waiting on you to faithfully accept what He has already done for you. The only way to be connected to God is to believe in Jesus. He is our bridge to God, because He came into the world & carried our sins to the cross, & then died for us. He bridged the gap that was between God & man. He tore the veil. You don’t need to worry about the walls built up before God because Jesus has torn down those walls! The stories you’ve read are true testimonies to the true identity of God, He is love & His love endures forever. I also have suffered from depression for many years of my life, but to me depression is a result of life without God. He is Joy, He is what is missing from your life. I pray that when you are ready to accept Him that you’ll pray this prayer that each of us has prayed at least once in our life:
I feel your presence & I know you’re here. You’re all around me & you’re inside of me, You created me out of Your image. Thank you for Your Son Jesus who came & died for me. Your Word says that whoever believes with his heart & confesses with his mouth that Jesus was raised from the dead will be saved. So today I confess to You out of the faithfulness in my heart that I believe & I accept Jesus. My past & my sins are washed away, I am a new creation. I am free to walk from darkness & depression. You have rescued me, I am yours. In Jesus’ name, I have been redeemed, I am the child of a King, my life is new. I am yours all the day of my life. Thank you for your grace & mercy upon this sinner. I walk by faith in Jesus & not by sight of my circumstances or of those around me. Amen.